Everyday happiness…
Often it comes down to the basics of self-care which are so critical to our well-being, yet are so easy to let slip when we’re busy caring for our families and deep in the daily grind.
It can feel next to impossible to actually take time to nurture ourselves, time we could use to check more items off our to do list, complete chores or errands, and nurture our little ones or partners.
But the truth is, we have got to prioritize our own well-being, too, if we expect to do more than subsist.
To really thrive and live our best lives, and to be able to nurture the other people in our lives,
we need to nurture ourselves as well.
I know that I have so much more to give the other people in my life when I’m taking good care of myself. I’m not perfect at self-care, but I try.
And if I get distracted and lose my way for a while, I try to come back to where I need to be. It’s like coming back to the breath in meditation. If our mind wanders (as it will!), it doesn’t mean we’re a failure, or that we’re “doing it wrong.” It simply means that we’re human. And that’s a good thing!
The key is in the coming back.
Coming back to the breath, or to the path that you want to be on.
Life is a journey, and the path is not always straight. Spiraling around and around, sometimes away, and then back again… yet moving ever upward, as we live and learn and grow.
So even as we move away from self-care at times, we come back. And hopefully, as time goes on, we come back to our desired path a little more quickly each time.
Beyond Ourselves
As mothers, we have another reason to nurture ourselves, beyond our own well-being.
Taking good care of ourselves sets a vital example for our children.
We want them to be people who love themselves and take good care of themselves. How powerful to observe their mother living that out, loving herself while loving others.
It’s impossible in fact to love others if you’re not loving yourself.
You matter. Your happiness matters.
It can be easy to forget that, when we have such big needs around us. We are in high demand, and there’s so much to do. And we love our children so much. And we want to be the best mother we can be.
We know need to take care of ourselves… It’s just that it’s not always easy to put it into practice. I get it.
So What Can We Do?
A good first step is to reflect on how you’re doing. Are your basic self-care needs being met?
Self-Care Check In: How Are You Doing?
- Are you drinking enough water every day?
- Are you moving your body?
- Are you eating good food?
- Are you finding time for stillness?
- Are you getting enough sleep?
- Are you making time for creative play and fun?
- Are you connecting with your friends and loved ones?
- Are you connecting with your true self, your values, and your desires?
For me, sleep is the foundation of my self-care. If I don’t get enough sleep, I’m a mess. I can’t focus, I can’t seem to get anything done, and I’m just not happy.
Movement is also so important… I really need to get outside and take a walk every day. (I know part of the benefit is also from just being outside.)
Stillness is another big one for me. Daily meditation, even for five minutes, helps me be more calm and less reactive when things get stressful.
And as an introvert, I also need quiet time to myself. I love to give to others, I love to meet other people’s needs, but I really need that totally alone time, too.
And even though I am an introvert, I also need connection. As an at-home mom, it’s not always easy to connect. I love the magic of the internet for connecting with far away kindred spirits. Yet it’s also a balance, and it takes a conscious effort to not get sucked in.
Strengthen Your Self-Care
- Reflect on your life right now. How well are you taking care of yourself in each area?
- Identify your self-care basics. Which of these are THE MOST important to your well-being?
- What has worked in the past? What small steps can you take to add a little bit more of that self-care to your life?
- Set your intentions, try, and celebrate when you do them. And don’t beat yourself up if you don’t.
It’s time to make you a priority. For yourself. For your children. For the people you love.
You have so much happiness to live. So much that only you can give.
And you can’t do it if you’re sleep-deprived, overworked, disconnected, and in a slump. Life is short, and you deserve more than that.
So take good care of you.
What About You?
What are your self-care basics? What are you struggling with? Let me know in the comments below.
Take good care, beautiful mamas!
Love,
Heather
Wonderful post Heather. I love your self care check list, it really covers all the essentials. My self care includes daily walks with my dog and recently, sitting in my garden in the evenings watching the fireflies dance.
Thank you, Rachel! I’m glad you enjoyed it. I would love to sit in the garden watching fireflies. That sounds lovely.
Thank you!
I’m only doing about 2 items from the self care list, even though these are all things I know I need to do to feel human, and they are things I actively promote to others!
This week is all about balance for me and this is really a timely reminder
Hugs to you, Anna! I know, it’s easy to let our self-care slide sometimes, even when we know how important it is. I wish you a wonderful week of rejuvenation!
Thanks for a much-needed reminder to prioritize self-care, Heather! As the week goes on I feel more worn out, so it’s helpful to take a step back and think through your self-care checklist.
You’re very welcome, Elizabeth. I know what you mean about the energy level going down through the week. Like most people, I’m sure, I also experience this on a daily basis as well, starting in the morning feeling great, and gradually losing energy as the day goes on. I think it’s worth some careful thought about how we can plan for those times we know we’ll be more tired, to make them as good as they can be.
For me, the worst time of day is usually around 5 to 7pm… A time when I need to be “on” to make dinner, clean up, and do bedtime routines–while taking care of my children who are also worn out. I’m looking at ways to simplify that time and incorporate self-care, such as making dinner ahead of time, eating an earlier dinner, and making sure I have some relaxation to look forward to after the children are in bed. Sometimes I’ll take a hot lavender bath after everyone is down, or get in bed early to read. I’d like to make it happen on a more regular basis. Hmmm, sounds like a new blog post. :)
Excellent post! I especially like the part of ‘coming back’.
Thank you, Marianne! I’m glad you liked it.
I love this, Heather! As the author of a book called “Imagine Self-Love” you can be I am on the same page as you and fully agree with your points. It is still such a great reminder and, yes, we all need reminders! Can’t get enough of that good self-loving stuff! Rock on! Wonderful! xox, Reba
Thank you, Reba! I totally agree… We all need those reminders! I like the sound of your book. :)
I love this post, great list of self care habits. I’m an introvert and can totally identify with the need for sleep, alone time and also the quality connections with people I care about. “Identify Self Care basics” perfectly said – thank you xx
Hi, Heather! I see we have more in common than just our name. :) I’m glad you enjoyed the post. <3
Self-care is definitely one of the most challenging parts of being a Mama. It took me a really long time to make my own care a priority. One of the best gifts I have ever given to me :-)
This is a lovely, timely, and powerful post. Most of all I love how easy it can be to take care of yourself.
#Beautiful
xo
Hi, Stacey! Thank you for your kind words. :)
I know what you mean. It is challenging, but like you said, it can also be easy… or at least even small doses of self-care can make a big difference.
I’m was astounded at how much more intentional I had to be about not only self-care but my entire life after I had my son!
Here via Authentic Connecting
Yes, that’s so true, Stephanie. Having a child changes your whole world. And it’s something you can only truly understand once it’s happened to you, you know? Thank you for reading!
Thank-you for this reminder! Of course I KNOW that self-care is important, but sometimes it ends up on the bottom of the list! I aim to do some exercise today. Thanks! x
You’re welcome, Naomi! I know what you mean… Exercise sounds good!
Your message is an important one. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for spreading this amazing awareness into the world. Your work matters. <3
Thank you, Vironika! I really appreciate you saying that.